The Toddler Autopilot.

Ever find yourself giving instructions to your toddler only to be met with blank stares, defiant "no's," or simply a continued pursuit of whatever fascinating creepy crawlie they've discovered?

You might be experiencing what we call "The Toddler Autopilot."

Just like adults can slip into routine without true engagement, our little ones often operate on their own little programming. They're "here but not here," absorbed in their own world, making it seem like they're not "listening." But what if the key to unlocking their attention isn't about louder demands, but about deeper presence—both yours and theirs?

Recent insights into early childhood education reveal a crucial "presence gap.”While educators spend a significant portion of their day engaged with children, a surprisingly small percentage of that time is truly intentional.

At home, the same can be true. Between dinner prep, work calls, and endless chores, our minds are often elsewhere, creating a disconnect that children keenly sense.

This isn't about blame; it's about understanding. Children thrive on connection, and when we, as parents, are genuinely present, we model mindfulness and foster a secure attachment that encourages cooperation and emotional growth.

A 2025 discussion paper by the Australian Education Research Organisation (AERO) highlights the lasting developmental impact of high-quality, purposeful interactions—moments where we are truly "with" our children.

So, how do we shift from the chaos of "autopilot" to the calm of connection?

It first begins with emptying our cup and tuning in to what has actually absorbed our toddlers attention.

Perhaps this means we negotiate a little with our monkeys and be attentive to that piece of blue tac they’ve been playing with instead of wearing their shoes .